Marriage is NOT a Fairytale

I have a confession to make.

I fell into the trap of thinking marriage is a fairytale. I thought marriage was going to make my life better and suddenly, poof, all is right with the world. All would be right with me. I thought a man would come and he would save me from all my problems, all my insecurities. I thought he would be the answer to all that was wrong in my life. I thought I would live happily ever after and I would be a whole person, living in all the fullness God has for me. I thought I would suddenly be healed from emptiness, loneliness, insecurities, and unsureness. I thought once you say "I do," suddenly, your world changes and suddenly, you're all "good."

It dawned on me Thursday morning that all this is not true. A man will not save you. A man will not fix you. A man will not make everything right in your life. A man won't give you joy. A man won't give you peace. A man won't make you secure. A man won't heal all your brokenness. A man won't make everything RIGHT with you.

I was placing power in a man when that POWER belongs to God and  GOD alone. I was placing expectations on men and a man who could not do that for me. A man who could not love me how Christ loved the church. A man who could not fix me and still can't. You know why? Because I'm broken. I have doubts. I doubt myself all the time. I have insecurities. I have longings. I feel lonely. I feel unloved. I feel depressed. I look around and I see other people's lives and I say to myself, why not me too? Am I not worthy of love? Am I not worthy to be blessed too? Am I never going to see the things you have promised me?

I realized and realize now, no man and no one can fix me. No man and no one can heal me. No man and no one can make me whole. No man and no one can fill the longing in my heart. No man and no one can give me joy. No man and no one can give me peace. No man and no one can do the things that only CHRIST can do for me.

I made the mistake of believing the lie--- that you NEED a man to make you happy. But that's not true. You only need God. I made the mistake of forgetting the 2015 Yanique, the Yanique who was independent. The Yanique who was living life to the fullest, and not just EXISTING. The Yanique who did not HAVE a man and did not CARE. The Yanique who TRAVELED. The Yanique who was FEARLESS and did things without caring that she was by herself. The Yanique who was ALONE but was never lonely. The Yanique who was HAPPY. The Yanique who had PEACE. The Yanique who had JOY. The Yanique who was getting WHOLE.

It was all a lie.

I now know this.

Ladies, you don't need a man to make you happy. Men, you don't NEED a woman to make you happy. I now realize this and now know my error. No more idolizing a man, a relationship, a marriage, or a future. I will be my 2015 self and be CONTENT with where I am in my LIFE and my walk with God. I will praise God for this season of singleness and being alone. There is nothing wrong with me.

I am loved.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am deserving of a hope and a future.
I am free.
I am happy.
I have joy.
I have peace.
I am CONTENT with being ALONE.
I am not lonely.
I am just FINE without a man.
I am destined for greatness.


I am in the process of healing from all the lies.

I hope you too find freedom in knowing that you are okay with just being YOU, whether or not you have someone on your arm.

Marriage is NOT a fairytale. It won't fix all that is wrong with you. It only heightens and reveals even more the things that need healing in your life.

Become a whole person and love yourself before you're able to love someone else.

If you are single right now, as I am, do YOURSELF a favor and LIVE life abundantly. It STARTS with YOU.

So journey on with loving yourself and your road to self discovery and freedom. You deserve to love yourself, you deserve to be f r e e.

Marriage is not a fairytale. It won't fix what is broken inside of you. Only God can.

-Yan